God is in Control

by Chris in IL
09 March 1998

I first heard about WeighDown a few years ago when someone at work mentioned it and its spiritual implications. At that time I remarked, half-jokingly, "I have enough spiritual problems in my life. I don't need the guilt of making my weight a spiritual issue!"

What I wasn't ready to admit is that my weight was already a spiritual problem. Food was my friend, my comforter. Happy? Eat. Sad? Eat. Stressed Out? Eat! Of course! I turned to food for satisfaction, I turned to food as my savior.

I think you have all heard the story, "My Heart, Christ's Home," where God wants to come physically into the 'house' of your life.

I had accepted Christ as a young child, I loved Him. I walked with Him daily. I had no problem giving Him almost all the 'rooms' in my life...living room...halls...library...fine. But the kitchen was MINE...and I wasn't to crazy about giving Him McDonalds or Dairy Queen either! There were certain hidden areas that, I was sure Christ would understand, I wanted to keep control of. After all, He had so much of my life. But, of course, every area of my life that I wanted to control........was out of control.

Last October, I came to a crisis point in my life. As a Christian mother with three teen-age daughters, my top priority has always been to raise Godly, Christian women. I had been struggling for quite a while with one of my children. I felt like there was a tug-of-war going on for the heart of my child, with Satan on the one side and myself on the other. I would lay awake nights, crying out to God.

"What am *I* going to do?"

"What should *I* do next?"

"I am so weary of the constant battle!"

I literally laid on the ground, pouring out my heart to God.

God, very quietly, said, "Give her to me."

I argued, "You don't understand! She is my child, and I love her! I am fighting for her very soul!"

God, very quietly said, "YOU don't understand............She is MY child and I love her.........I gave my SON for her very soul."

God made me realize that day that my daughter's life was not up to me. It was up to Him. But 'I' had to be obedient and surrender to His Will. I knew that there was no chance of mentally or emotionally surviving unless I let the Almighty God of the Universe step in and take over.

As God had it planned, the WD orientation was that week. I had already read Gwen's book and understood the basic concept. Giving God control. Well, if I could trust God with the very soul of my precious child, I could certainly trust Him with my physical needs........couldn't I? I had to turn over each and every area of my life that I was trying to control and trust Him.

I had to let Him into my kitchen.

Then I had to realize that I could NEVER be in control again.

Well, that was over 5 months ago. Has my daughter totally given her life to Christ and now wants to be a missionary in darkest Africa? No. But now and then I see little glimmers of light where God is working in her life. As I talk with her about areas in her life.....God shows me areas in my life that He is working on. And as I fall more and more in love with Him, I fall more and more in love with my daughter, who isn't very lovely sometimes.

As far as my weight goes, I left my scales in Egypt. I have no idea of exact numbers. I do know that last fall I was squeezing into size 24 jeans. Yesterday, I wore to church, a beautiful red, size 8 dress. I could do this only by doing what I should have been doing all my life. Loving the Lord, my God , with all my heart and with all my soul and with mind.

I'm not in the Promised Land yet. But this camel's not turning around until I get there!! Deuteronomy 8, continues to encourage me each and every day.

May God bless us all as we continue with Him.

Humbly in His Will,
chris in IL

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